tears and more tears

8 hours and several kilometers later, i find out i am the option! i am heartsick and wonder if i will ever recover or trust anyone again.That all the while, it was just a game, a ploy to replace the person he really wanted to be with.......
And now, i wish something or someone can fix me, as the music in the background claims.
i just don't want to feel again, remove all emotions, of what use is it if someone just toys with it.
i would like that one-way ticket to Australia now! There's nothing here o.
Everyone is grown and gone and as friends have been lost to their spouses.
So long, i wanted it to be Lagos, Lagos,my dear Lagos. I wanted it to be the place where i was made.
Its like i am leaving the life of some unfortunate in one of the many dramas that i have watched over the years, could i be peyton? Lucas is off again, and this time i dnt think i can take it anymore.
Have i lost all sense of self, that i made the trip?
Everything is a lie, i have to be a certain way, i am now convinced that it was when he saw the hair that i got invited, probably reminded him of one of them that he wanted.
i want to go far far away, cut out my heart, remove all sense of feeling..............no pain,no hurt,no heartache.

i am unhappy

It is quite clear that I am unhappy now.I cnt get thru to
You,to them.am I stressful?everythg I do,I did,is unappreciated
I have never been praised for anything.
I that have so much talent,have been reduced to a mediocre
That I talk too much about how I feel,how not when the discussion
Holds its one sided.u just ask how I feel to hear n guage where
We are,yet u have nothg to say.
U made fun of ur gifts(vals n buffday).is there any pleasing
I am getting tired o.

I am physically n psychologically tired!
I love u,

on stories

I am sorry if I come here only to lament,its that I am never right
And that I never have any valid reason to be angry,its somehow
Always my fault.I somehow always wind up apologising.
I was so shocked when I read those mails.I felt sick inside
Very sick.like I had been living a lie.times of niceness felt
Like making up for nastiness.
Wow!is there even time?I'll say one thing sha-apart from my
Immediate family,I am the only one in this world that cares about me
PEriod.
I dnt care what any1 says.

mean spirited or understress

I heard somewhere that we know people best when they are angry or their guards
Are down. I have been pushed and told to go away several times.and I am considering
Walking away.
I am hypersensitive or so I hv always been told.now I cnt even say how I feel
And its been a year.shit with all the too much information crap.
I am trying to be careful but what about me?I am tired of forming activity
To not feel the feelings I am feeling. I have been turned into a pseudo slave
Enough with wat d wifey is supposed to do.I dnt see a ring on my finger yet.

Its so unfair to put someone 1st all the time and get snapped at.I am sick of it
Its unfair.

How do I say my point without causing a fight.

I wish I could just say wat was on my mind.

I am tired of walking on egg shells

Freakingly tired!

I shall however not take the childish route and just speak my mind.

a beautiful mind

Sitting alone in darkness in someone else's house,what a very sad day.I cannot say anything wonderful
About today,as things haven't changed.my car is still misbehaving and my outta tears.
I find also(shocks) that the world doesn't revolve around me.hilarious!I have the allusion to the
Statement unfair.an injustice to my gentle self albeit troublesome at times.
I think now the quiteness of my room well protected under a net is much more appealing.
I have also been accused of being jobless, not literarily but lacking in enough social activites
To preoccupy my otherwise selfish self.
Extremely shocking as I thought that it was the reverse.
Well! Well! Somthing must be said fpr transferred agression.
I fear that I am being taken for granted,tonite however there is no help to be had because
The driver isn't well disposed to my goodself. So I am left to whims and caprices of the flies
Out here tonight. I hardly doubt that anyone is trying hard to get to me tonite.
Amazing! I am being discriminated against.pray,guess on what basis.might it be because I have
No accent or no foreign education or does visiting the Queen's land automatically transform or
Upgrade one's class. Ah shocks!never thot I'll see the day.
well my take on that really is class isn't hereditary like genes(do d science).

raw emotions!

I am going to write with no holds barred,for there lies release.the snapping is getting too
Frequent.I know its stress at work,but still there is no excuse!it stung,how it stung
And its the second time this week!shocks how no matter how pissed I am, I always
Defer to u.why r u so impatient this days?

I need to sleep rite now!deep sleep,where I can feel no pain or hurt.amazing how
I am always available to pick ur call and ur not arund to pick mine.

I am tired now and need to sleep,ur harshness left me dumbfounded!

I want to not pick ur calls as u ur plain mean n rude.

U could actually hv said I'll call u later without d wats u uttered.

Words r wat I have and words hurt me n u used words to hurt me!u knew words
Would hurt me.

it would be nice period!!

To get reassured from time to time. To be taken on actual outings with friends,
Loungin on d bed doesn't count.to say stuff when you are not prompted.

To not be so polite and be more selfless, to assume I can read your mind.to mean
Stuff u say.

To be more sensitive to my already sensitive self.

I am pissed at myself bcos :I shulda come home on saturday nite jejely,I am
Pissed bcos I felt dismissed.

I shulda just said,look iv gotta get hm cos I really shuld send some time at
Home.

So I was upset when a seemly tired u,was up n dressed ready to jump out.

I understd that ur bored.couldn't u have bn nice about it?